When a loved one passes away, you face countless decisions during one of life’s most difficult moments. Among these is the task of writing an obituary—a few hundred words that need to capture the essence of an entire life. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by this task, as many find it impossible to distil decades of memories, relationships, and experiences into a single page.
So if you are unsure where to begin, know you’re not alone. This guide will walk you through what the best way to start an obituary is, the details that truly matter, and how to go about the process with care.
What a Well-Written Obituary Looks Like
Before you begin writing, it helps to understand what makes an obituary meaningful and effective. Knowing what a well-written obituary looks like gives you a foundation to build upon.
An obituary serves multiple purposes beyond simply announcing a death. It informs your community about funeral or memorial services, celebrates a unique life lived, and creates a lasting record for future generations. Whether you’re planning Buddhist, Taoist, Christian, Catholic, or non-religious services in Singapore, the obituary becomes the first public acknowledgement of your loss.
A well-crafted obituary thus balances factual information with personal warmth. It captures something essential about who the person was, their character, their values, the way they moved through the world. The best obituaries feel authentic, as though the person themselves might recognise the portrait being painted. They respect cultural and religious traditions while remaining accessible to everyone who knew the deceased.
If you’re unsure what to write, there are many templates available online that can serve as a guide and starting point for crafting your own well-written obituary. These can help you see different approaches to structure, tone, and content. You can also reference the obituary section of the Straits Times by googling “Straits Times obituary today” or “Straits Times obituary archives” to see how other families have approached their announcements.
What to Include in an Obituary
Every obituary contains essential elements that serve as frameworks, guiding you while leaving room for personal touches.
Essential Factual Information
Begin with the full name of the deceased, including any maiden names, nicknames, or names they used in different contexts of their life. Include their date of birth, date of death, and age at the time of death. Adding a photograph is also valuable in helping community members recognise your loved one. Choose a recent, clear image that captures their personality, whether formal or casual.
Service Details
Provide the date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial services. If you’re holding a wake (especially those with multi-day observances), include those details as well and specify whether services will involve burial or cremation. For families choosing direct cremation services, sometimes called a straight case, you can also note this in the announcement. Additionally, include any specific details about religious or cultural ceremonies to help guests prepare.
Family Connections
Another essential element is acknowledging family relationships. List immediate family members, both living and deceased. This typically includes the person’s spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and parents. Depending on cultural traditions, you may also acknowledge extended family. Use phrases such as “survived by” for living relatives and “preceded in death by” for those who have passed.
Life Story Elements
This section breathes life into the facts. Share your loved one’s place of birth, career highlights, and educational achievements. Mention marriages, hobbies, volunteer work, and community contributions. Most importantly, capture the qualities that defined them—were they generous, funny, devoted to family, passionate about their work? These details transform a simple announcement into a heartfelt tribute
Additional Considerations
Beyond the core elements, consider a few final details. Note whether the family prefers flowers or donations to a specific charity. If the deceased left specific wishes about their service or memorial, honour those requests here. Some families also establish memorial funds in their loved one’s name, which you can mention along with the contribution details.
Many funeral service providers also offer examples and samples to help ensure you include all essential information while leaving room for personal details. However, templates work best as starting points; the most meaningful obituaries reflect individual lives rather than following rigid formulas.
At Singapore Funeral Enterprise, our experienced team understands the nuances of different cultural and religious traditions. We can guide you through the process of writing and submitting obituaries and handle coordination with publications if you need that support.
How Long Should Your Obituary Be?
Another consideration when writing your obituary is length. Length considerations vary depending on where you plan to publish. Newspaper obituaries in publications typically run 200-500 words due to space constraints and associated costs, while online platforms offer more flexibility. As such, many families may choose to publish extended versions on funeral home websites or memorial pages, where word count is less important.
That said, quality matters far more than length. A shorter, thoughtfully written obituary often resonates more deeply than a lengthy one that loses focus or becomes repetitive. Consider your audience and chosen medium, then craft something that honours your loved one without overwhelming readers. Remember, you can always share additional stories and memories during the service itself or through other channels.
Submitting an Obituary
Once you’ve written your obituary, you need to share it with the community. Many families submit to local newspapers like The Straits Times Singapore. Beyond traditional newspapers, consider community bulletins, religious organisation newsletters, online memorial platforms, and social media to help you quickly reach friends and the broader community.
Submit your obituary as soon as service details are confirmed, to allow time for publication deadlines. Newspapers typically require several days’ notice, so it is important to plan accordingly.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Even with the best intentions, certain missteps can diminish an obituary’s impact or cause unintended problems.
Accuracy and Representation Issues
Double-check every detail. Misspelt names, incorrect dates, or wrong service information cause confusion during an already difficult time. Review your draft carefully, and ask another family member to verify facts. Missing family members or omitting key life events can hurt feelings and create lasting rifts, so consider who should be acknowledged before finalising the text.
Tone and Sensitivity Concerns
Keep the focus on the person who passed, not on those still living. While it’s natural to mention how much someone will be missed, the obituary should celebrate the deceased’s life rather than centre on survivors’ grief. Match your tone to the person’s character and your community’s expectations. Avoid being too casual for someone who valued formality, or overly stiff for someone who lived with joy and spontaneity.
Many families struggle with whose wishes should guide the obituary. When possible, consider what the deceased would have wanted rather than imposing your own preferences onto their final public tribute.
Privacy and Security Concerns
Avoid including sensitive personal details that could compromise privacy or security. Information about empty homes during funeral services, specific financial details, or estate matters don’t belong in public announcements. Protect your family by keeping certain information private.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
When planning services for Buddhist, Taoist, Christian, Catholic, or other faith traditions, consult with religious leaders if you’re unsure about appropriate terminology or customs. Cultural protocols vary significantly, and getting these details right shows respect for both the deceased and your community.
Creating a Lasting Tribute
Writing an obituary during grief is never easy. You’re trying to summarise decades of life, love, and experiences in just a few paragraphs. There’s no perfect obituary, only one that feels true to your loved one and serves your family’s needs during this transition.
Remember that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Many funeral service providers offer guidance not just with obituaries, but with all aspects of pre-planning funeral arrangements. Whether you need help finding the right words, understanding cultural protocols, or simply want someone to review your draft, support is available.
Our team at Singapore Funeral Enterprise offers a free 45-minute face-to-face consultation where we can discuss every aspect of honouring your loved one, from obituary guidance to coordinating meaningful funeral services.
The obituary you write becomes part of your loved one’s legacy. Take the time you need, ask for help when you want it, and trust that your words—honest and heartfelt—will serve as a fitting tribute to the life you’re honouring.